17 Reasons Why You Should Never Visit Iran
No doubt you’ve heard a lot about Iran in the media. And it’s true, Iran is a truly evil and terrifying place. Here we present 17 reasons you should never, ever, visit this godforsaken land.
|1. The capital city is basically a ruin.
Tehran’s skyline is truly mediocre.
|2. Everyone lives in a mud shack.
The Tabatabaei house in Kashan is a pretty miserable place to while away your days.
| 3. The villages are pretty much what you’d find anywhere else.
If Palangan village, on the border with Iraq, looks mildly impressive, it’s just because of the lighting
. Nothing to do with the near-vertical positioning of the houses.
| 4. The architecture is plain and lackluster.
Why would anyone want to visit the Nasir al-Mulk Mosque in Shiraz?
| 5. Meh.
Oh Shiraz, is this the best you can do?
|6. The women are oppressed and downtrodden.
She looks like she needs someone to liberate her.
|7. The food is unpalatable and bland.
I wouldn’t touch that stuff with a barge pole.
| 8. There is no ancient history to this place.
Big deal. Every country has at least one 6th century BC Achaemenid Empire burial site.
| 9. A traveller interested in history and culture would be totally bored here.
2,500-year-old sculptures? Pff. My local museum is way better.
| 10. Iranians are a bunch of philistines.
There is no Museum of Contemporary Art in Tehran, and definitely, no Warhol, Pollock, Munch, Hockney or Rothko to see. None. Don’t go there.
| 11. The mosques are anything but exquisite and intricate.
The Seyyed Mosque in Isfahan was basically designed and painted by a child.
| 12. Where I come from ceilings are white… WHITE, you hear me?!
Chehel Sotoun Palace in Isfahan is SO overrated.
| 13. It has the most un-magical, boring countryside imaginable.
Why would anyone want to visit the mountainous Kurdistan region of Iran?
| 14. The only wildlife in Iran comprises mosquitos and cockroaches.
There are no Persian Cheetahs in Iran. The ‘Persian’ in the name is just a misnomer.
| 15. It’s basically just one big, dusty, hell-hole of a desert.
The wide expanse of sand reaching out as far as the eye can see make for one, long, boring road trip.
| 16. People in Iran ride on camels.
Cars? No. The only option is camel travel.
|17. There is no snow (and no ski resorts) in Iran — as we said, it’s all desert.
Dizin ski resort was a massive flop. The only thing you’ll find there is tumbleweed and the odd sheperd.